SUSPICIOUSLY
NORMAL CAT.

YOUR CONCERNS HAVE BEEN NOTED.

Suspiciouslynormal cat.

Sits in boxes. Ignores you.
Briefly controls gravity.
Please stop making this weird.

See the evidence
He acknowledges nothing. Normal cat behavior.
FIG. 01 — A CAT, OBVIOUSLY.
CERTIFIED NORMAL*
An excessively innocent cream cat casually levitating above its shadow
THE FLOATING IS A POSTURE THING.
*certified by the cat.

THE ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY INVESTIGATION

Nothing to
see here.

We've reviewed the evidence.
The evidence has reviewed us.

EXHIBIT 01AGE: SIX. STILL.
An old-fashioned, sepia-tinted picture of the same unchanging catARCHIVE PHOTO / ALLEGEDLY

A perfectly normal age.

He has been six years old since 1842. Very good skincare.

EXHIBIT 02POSITION: COMFORTABLE
The cat resting completely upside downORIENTATION / OPTIONAL

A perfectly normal nap.

He's allowed on the ceiling. We're picking our battles.

EXHIBIT 03BLINKS: UNCONFIRMED
The cat's wide, unblinking eyes staring directly at youEYE CONTACT / INDEFINITE

A perfectly normal stare.

He has never blinked in front of a witness. Neither would you.

Still suspicious? That's a you problem.
Normal cat behavior.

Back to the cat